An Introduction to Parts Work
You may have heard of Internal Family Systems or IFS. It’s an approach growing rapidly—beyond therapy into coaching, leadership, law practice, schools and education, and even the medical field. Why? Because it’s simple, intuitive, and it works.
IFS is based on a powerful insight: we’re not just one single “self” inside. We all have many parts—inner aspects of ourselves—with their own emotions, motivations, interpretations, strategies, tactics, and responses. You’ve likely felt this already. Have you ever said, “Part of me wants to do this, but another part really doesn’t”? That little phrase points to something at the heart of Parts Work.
Aletheia Parts Work draws from IFS and adds a Presence-based lens. It starts with this truth: humans are complex. We often experience multiple, even contradictory, emotions at once. One part of you longs for change. Another part resists or procrastinates out of fear. When we override or ignore these internal tugs of war, we end up stuck—or moving in a direction that we can’t sustain.
We see this playing out in the world. We live in a polarized world. And yet we have this inner polarization and conflict within us as well. I believe we can start to shift the world when we start with ourselves. Parts Work helps us soften these inner conflicts by building relationships with our parts to understand them.
We all have blind spots when it comes to understanding ourselves and why we think, feel, and act the way we do. These are areas we can’t quite see in ourselves. Parts Work helps us access those hidden places, casting a light into a blind spot. When we adopt a Parts view and learn how to work with parts, new and powerful insights can be generated that can lead to significant change and development.
Parts are reactive and can get triggered—say, anger, frustration, sadness, or some other reactive emotion. Or in some situations, you feel mixed emotions. One part of you is frustrated and another part is disappointed. It can be helpful to take the view that these parts are trying to get your attention. Often, there’s a protector part showing up to defend a more vulnerable, hurt part. For example, when you feel angry it may be because another part of you feels unseen or unappreciated. These parts have something to say, otherwise they wouldn’t be so reactive.
Here’s the key: Parts only begin to unfold when they feel seen, accepted, and valued exactly as they are. That’s where Presence comes in. You have Parts but you are not your Parts. You are not even the collection of all your Parts. You are Presence. Presence is who we are in our wholeness. When we land in ourselves as Presence, we feel grounded and confident and so much more. You can take the lead in your own life. It is the ultimate innate resource for navigating the complexity we face, addressing our most pressing challenges, and living a fulfilling life. When we meet our parts from this place of Presence, they can begin to relax and soften. That’s when real change can happen.
Parts work is a simple method to do this. You ask questions and listen. Once you’ve learned the skills, this is a method you can do yourself… solo parts work is very accessible once you’ve got the hang of it. And once you learn this practice, it can become a life practice.
We want to approach our parts with curiosity. We ask. We listen. We remain curious. Granted, this isn’t always easy, which is why having the support of a Presence-led coach is very supportive. The goal isn’t to change the part—it’s to change your relationship with it. Paradoxically, that’s what allows the part to transform.
Even to start, naming a part is powerful. Instead of “I’m mad,” try, “A part of me feels mad.” That tiny shift creates space for other parts—and for yourself as Presence—to show up too.
Some Questions to Help Identify Parts:
A Part of Me Feels…
Am I feeling reactive or stuck?
Am I trying to control something?
Am I avoiding a feeling or situation?
Am I attached to feeling something particular?
Am I trying to appease someone in this situation?
Our Parts are often working hard on our behalf to address a concern or help us meet a core need.
An important distinction in Parts Work is that all Parts have a positive intention. You can openly wonder about the Part’s good intentions. Once we can name it as a part, we can start to see the positive intent (it is working hard to get your needs met!)
Parts Work is especially useful when you’re navigating transitions, making tough decisions, setting boundaries, or facing procrastination. It’s like getting your inner team on the same page. When each part feels heard, you can move forward with more clarity, confidence, and peace.
Parts Work is heart work. All parts carry truth, beauty, and goodness. Ultimately it’s about deepening your relationship with yourself. And as you do, you discover some of our parts have been waiting for our contact for a long time.
If you’re interested in learning more, I’ve also written quite a bit about parts work in this blog on befriending your inner critic.
I’d love to hear from you if coaching might help support your discovery. We start exactly where you are and explore the threads together.
Reach out for a free discovery call.